A Penny for Your Thoughts: Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to those of us in the US. For everyone else: Feel free to jump on the thanksgiving bandwagon. Have a random feast with family you can’t stand (or love to hate) and hash out all those silly differences over booze and turkey. For those traveling this holiday: I hope that your family was able to make it to you safely. I’m officially drinking vacation coffee. For some reason, I think it tastes a little soapy, which doesn’t make sense. I brought my carafe, my cup, my everything. Weird, right?

I’ve run away to the Smoky Mountains. And now I’ve gotten a new cup of coffee. That last one really did taste like soap. Blech. No idea why. This is live-posting right here folks. You might not be reading along while I write and fix typos, but I suppose for now, this is as close as it gets.

We left around 4 in the morning and arrived around 4 in the afternoon. Yep, 12 hours, including stops along the way. My coworkers are all jealous. My daughter is jealous. The first thing we did after getting here was, well choose sleeping spots and put food away. The second thing we did was change into our swimsuits and sit in the hot tub. It was perfect. Cold as fuck, but perfect. (And by cold as fuck, I mean a chilly 50 degrees.) (Not the hot tub, silly, we turned that up to 104 degrees.)

I noticed something right away. All time is off by two minutes. The rental car – two minutes slow. The clocks here in the cabin, two minutes slow! It’s crazy. When you aren’t on vacation the rest of the world moves 2 minutes faster. That’s my theory anyway. It’s Science!

A lot can happen in two minutes!

You’re all still out there, right?

Uhh, anyway.

I wasn’t the first one to officially wake up, well, perhaps I was. I originally woke up at 615. Stupid brain. I turned over and went back to sleep. I am the official first person up, though. And while I am trying to type slower, this keyboard sounds so loud, though the clicking of the timer on the fireplace (yeah, timer) is louder. Everything echoes. Everything. Every move, every squeak of floorboard. It’ll take a little getting used to.

I’m up due to my head. I’m not sure if it’s allergies or caffeine withdrawal or a combination of the two. I took some drugs (the legal kind) and then made coffee. It seems to be dissipating. If my sinuses keep acting up, I’ll pop my last allergy pill. Yep, just the one. Allergies stopped where I live, soooo….. yeah.

I know that you’re supposed to sleep in on vacation. But we went to bed at like 9pm. I can only “sleep” so much. I haven’t synced my fitbit yet to see what kind of sleep I got. The mattress is nice. I’m definitely considering a firmer mattress for my next purchase.

This is my first official vacation since 1999. Yeah. Do the math again. I mean official vacation because I’ve gone somewhere. I’ve also left the state, which makes it even more official. My last vacation was a lovely 9 day jaunt in Arizona. Oh that sun. That heat. And the chilly nights. Good memories.

Hang on, don’t go anywhere, I’m going to try and get a photo of the sun off the balcony. Let’s hope I can open the door. (The doors don’t like me here. Well, actually, I need to kick in my inner sadist – the doors like to be roughed up.)

We’re also pretty sure this place is haunted. I’m going to buy a giant bag of rock salt. (I might be kidding, I might not be kidding – who’s to say?)

Today we are going to try to have Thanksgiving Brunch or Dinner at Paula Deen’s in Pigeon Forge. We do have second and third dinner plans if that fails. Okay, I’m going to sign off. Pay attention to Twitter as I may  (will) be tweeting photos now and again. You’re not following me? Why wouldn’t you follow me? I’ll lead you to the Smutty Goodness Garden. It’s like that other garden, but much more fun and naughty.