Dildo Shenanigans: Where it all began

Dildo Shenanigans with Big Blue Merman Smurf

First, I’d like to state that I am not responsible for the full name of Big Blue. I have friends who enjoy tormenting me and have probably been banned from naming things in the future.

Okay, let’s be real. We know they’ve been banned from naming things in the future.

Every year, Smutathon – Smut for a Cause – happens. Every year, I donate. This last time I won a prize! I won a handcrafted dildo from SheVibe. He is handsome as hell and quite fun to play with – but not in the way you’re thinking.

I know a lot of people write sex toy reviews. I don’t. I’m really picky about sex toys. I have three toys. I have a Magic Wand that was gifted to me. I tend to use it to massage the kinks out of my neck, shoulders, and back – the original intended use for Magic Wands.

That doesn’t mean we don’t love Big Blue. He’s the absolute best. We have a ton of fun with him – but none of it is in a sexual way. I feel a little bad about that because the intended purpose is sexual pleasure. However, we get a ton of entertainment and laughter using him in various shenanigans.

How did this start?

The first day Roommate and I were moving in there was a lot of back and forth, passing each other in the hall, people over to assist putting furniture together, jokes and more. Somewhere in between I found Big Blue and got an idea. I slapped him on the divider wall between Roommate’s bedroom and sink for her half-bath.

I didn’t realize it at the time I placed him at mouth level for her. Roommate is a couple of inches shorter than I am. I slapped him on the wall and thought he’ll stand out, he’s bright blue, can’t miss him.

Miss him she did!

Since that day, we’ve put Big Blue in various situations – some of which showed me that I feel safe in my home and will die because I no longer look up whenever I’m moving from one space to another.

She barreled into her room and turned right – then got smacked right in the face with him. That’s the day Dildo Shenanigans was born. Not only did she demonstrate this for me in slow motion, she also reenacted what happened for others. Honest to light, I am shocked we haven’t died from laughter. It would be a great way to go.

#DildoShenanigans on Twitter

I post the crazy things we do with Big Blue on Twitter. You can find most of those tweets by searching for the #DildoShenanigans tag.

Yes, we’re weird.

We own our weirdness. Roommate and I get along pretty damn well and anyone who can put up with this kind of nutty fun is a great person in my book.

What kind of scenarios would you like to see Big Blue featured in?

(Non-Sexual, of course. He’s like our house pet who we don’t need to feed.)

Let us know in the comments!