Why Writing Scenes with Sex is Better

Write getting frustrated because they don't know how to write scenes with sex.
Writers get frustrated because they don’t know how to write scenes with sex.

Sex Scenes vs Scenes with Sex

Writing scenes with sex can be the ultimate test of an author’s ability. No, I’m not joking. Many people who write beautiful and amazing works of art are afraid to delve into creative intimate scenes for their characters. Many of them close the door on the bedroom even if it’s supposed to be a steamy read.

Have you ever read a book – any genre – that had a scene where the characters have a spicy/steamy/intimate moment and thought – wtaf? I didn’t see that coming at all… why the hell are these two characters bumping uglies? There was no lead-up to this sex scene!

That’s how you know an author had to pad their word count, or they knew they were going to put a sexy scene in that general area, but put [insert sex here] instead of weaving it into the story.

Have you ever read a book – any genre – where the characters (even if they’re despising each other at the moment) fall into bed together and you’re like YES! YESSSS! I CALLED THAT! I knew they were gonna end up naked! Hah! And then high five yourself? [Example: The Boys season 3 episode with Butcher and… I won’t spoil it for you… but hot damn!]

That’s how you know an author took extra time and gave their characters a sexual history. Yes, you can find this in Erotica, too.

Are You an Author and Tired of Flat Sex Scenes?

Then it’s time to level up your skill and write Scenes with Sex! You’ll learn how to create holistic sex-positive experiences in your fictional world.

Every guide to writing will tell you that your characters need a history. You’re told to give them an emotional wound, strengths and weaknesses, and fears. However, some guides forget about the sexual history of your characters. Even if your character is a virgin until marriage, they still have knowledge that sex exists.

Even if you’re creating a universe where the characters don’t have sex, there’s going to be a reason behind this sort of story tidbit. [Example: Demolition Man.]

Will My Idea Hold Up?

Book a 15 minute Brainstorming Session with Dr. J. aka Donna Jennings to see if your sexy story idea has enough threads to create the tapestry of your world.

Want more details about the Scenes with Sex Guide Book?

Sign up for the Scenes with Sex Newsletter to get a PDF Overview of the things you can learn once the book comes out. (Yes, the book is still being worked on and it’s so close!)

You’ll also want to keep your eyes open for the next course opening. I loved taking the course because learning about writing better scenes with sex means richer story scenarios. And not just for novels and series. You can use the lessons for short stories, too.

The course I took included beta chapters of the guidebook and discussions over Zoom about the reading. We had feedback and question/answer sessions. We have teachable moments. The course for me was one day a week for an hour and a half across ten weeks.

We still meet once a month to talk about the stories we’re writing and how integrating the sexual histories for our characters is going. We also discuss plotting the scenes with sex and how to weave in the little tidbits that indicate the characters are definitely planning to get it on.

But Mischa, how will I know when the course is happening?

Easy, follow Dr. J. on Twitter or sign up for her newsletter linked up above. You’ll be kept in the know about future schedules for the course, when the book is coming out, and any extras that are included along the way.

#TheSexualitySpace on Twitter

Also, in case you somehow didn’t know, Dr. J. hosts an audio space every Wednesday at Noon Eastern on Twitter. You can find her past episodes on Flowjin. We (I’m the quiet cohost) discuss topics of sexuality from teachable moments to conversation starters and also include episodes centered around writing.

Not only will you learn how to speak to your partner(s) about your wants and needs when it comes to pleasure, you’ll also learn how to apply the things you learn to your characters in the stories you write.

What more could you want? If you think of a topic that we haven’t discussed, email or message Dr. J. and we’ll do our best to add it to the list.

Afraid to Write Bad Sex Scenes

Many authors over the years have mentioned being afraid of writing sex scenes. This is mainly due to the Bad Sex Awards. They’re afraid if they flub up the sex in any way, they’ll end up on this list and become infamous.

My thought is if you know for a fact that your characters are definitely going to have sex, then prepare yourself to write it.

That means research. Look into your own sexual past and experiences and use the emotions that bubble up thinking about that one time at band camp.

If you plan on writing outside your real life sexual scenarios, do your research and look for sensitivity readers.

Thinking about making it kinky? You better get it right because the kink community will let you know what you got wrong, especially if it has to do with safety and consent.

The keyword is Research. And remember, showing Tab A inserted into Slot B isn’t necessary. You can create super hot scenes using emotion and thoughts and dialogue.

Last, but not least, be gentle with your writer-self. It takes practice to learn the ins and outs (pun intended) of writing spicy scenes. Your best learning method is to read well-written spicy books – and not just the scenes with sex, but ones that are well-written all the way through.

The more you read, both craft and fiction, the better at writing you’ll become.

The Difference with this Guide Book

Dr. J. and I have been doing our research when it comes to guides on the craft of writing sexy, spicy scenes. Some “craft” guides I have found and downloaded samples of, contain lists of words or phrases, but there isn’t any guidance to writing itself.

There will be some small word lists in the Scenes with Sex Guide. However, they’re in a helpful context to stir your own ideas to create scenarios fitting the characters and world you’ve created. How? Because you’ll know their sexual history beforehand.

I have downloaded samples of some of these books, I won’t mention titles or authors, and it makes me wonder how many new authors looking to write erotic stories have felt intimidated or, worse, at a loss on how to use their own words.

With all the words staring at you from someone else’s mind, how do you then create your own that suit your story, and more importantly, your characters?

Dr. J. addresses these items in the Scenes with Sex Guide giving you the tools to write the best stories of your characters’ fictional lives.

P.S.: Have you signed up for InkersCon? If so, keep an eye out for a RoundTable Diacussion hosted by Dr. J. regarding Scenes with Sex! We look forward to your questions and feedback.


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